For years, Hayden Panettiere’s relationship with her daughter existed across visits, plane rides and a phone screen.

Kaya lived with her father, former heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko, in Europe. Panettiere remained in her daughter’s life, but the arrangement was far from the motherhood she once imagined.

“Not being under the same roof with her every day has been the most gut-wrenching experience of my life,” Panettiere wrote in her 2026 memoir.

Yet she wanted one thing to remain clear: distance had never meant a lack of love.

Panettiere, the Heroes and Nashville actress who died Aug. 16 at age 36, was the mother of 11-year-old Kaya Evdokia Klitschko. In the months before her death, she spoke with unusual openness about becoming a mother, addiction, giving Klitschko full custody and the bond she said she still shared with their only child.

Motherhood Began With a Frightening Delivery

Kaya was born in Hawaii on Dec. 9, 2014.

At the time, Panettiere and Klitschko told PEOPLE they were “over the moon and madly in love.” Years later, however, Panettiere revealed how frightening the pregnancy and birth had been behind the scenes.

While pregnant, she was told there were concerns about her baby’s development. Doctors initially questioned the growth of Kaya’s arms and legs, then became concerned about the size of her head. Panettiere wrote that she was told Kaya had microcephaly and might face cognitive impairment.

The delivery brought another crisis.

Panettiere underwent a C-section and recalled doctors calling a “code crimson.” Her blood would not clot, leading to a three-hour surgery, and she later learned her uterus had become infected. She described giving birth as the “hardest thing” she had ever done.

Once she was home with her baby, another struggle began.

Panettiere had expected the instant bond she had heard mothers describe. Instead, she wrote, “I felt nothing.”

She said caring for Kaya soon felt overwhelming as the energy and optimism she knew in herself disappeared. Alcohol became a way of coping. After returning to work on Nashville, her drinking worsened until she was thinking about alcohol first thing in the morning.

When Kaya was 4 months old, Panettiere entered treatment and was diagnosed with postpartum depression.

The Choice She Said She Never Forgot

Recovery did not happen in a straight line.

Panettiere wrote that medication brought its own problems and that she eventually returned to drinking. Her addiction also strained her relationship with Klitschko, and Kaya began spending time between her parents as their relationship fell apart.

Then came the decision Panettiere would still be talking about years later.

Klitschko sought full custody because he was concerned about Kaya while Panettiere was struggling. Panettiere said she could have afforded a legal fight, but she believed battling him while she was still trying to recover would have broken her further.

She chose not to fight.

“I remember every second of that day. Every f—ing second,” she wrote in This Is Me: A Reckoning. “No mother could forget a single thing about the day she signed her child away.”

Kaya began living with her father in 2018.

Panettiere later called relinquishing custody the “most heartbreaking thing” she had ever done. In a 2022 interview with PEOPLE, she explained that she believed taking care of herself was part of protecting her daughter.

“The best thing for my daughter was to make sure she was okay, take care of myself and make sure I could be a good mom to her,” she said.

It didn’t erase the pain.

She Pushed Back Against One Assumption

What continued to bother Panettiere was the idea that she had simply chosen to walk away.

During a May 2026 appearance on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast, she addressed that perception directly.

“The idea that anybody would think that I would just give away my child and be okay with it is heartbreaking,” she said. “Couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

She also said she had sought treatment herself rather than being forced into it.

Years earlier, Panettiere had believed the custody arrangement might change once she got better. She said on Red Table Talk in 2022 that she expected to work on herself, recover and eventually have Kaya spend more time with her.

“But that didn’t happen,” she said.

Kaya continued living primarily with Klitschko in Europe. Panettiere stayed connected through travel, visits and FaceTime.

In her memoir, Panettiere credited Klitschko for the father he had been to their daughter, calling him “an amazing father to Kaya.” She also made a deliberate choice to keep many details of Kaya’s life out of the book.

Her daughter, she wrote, had never chosen fame.

“I want her to have every choice that I didn’t, including the ability to live a private life,” Panettiere wrote.

Their Calls Went Far Beyond Small Talk

When Panettiere did speak publicly about Kaya, pride often came through in the details.

In 2024, she told PEOPLE that her daughter spoke English, Russian, Ukrainian and German and was learning French. Kaya loved horses and swimming, played golf and piano, and belonged to a chess club.

Panettiere also noticed something else about her daughter.

Despite an upbringing few children could relate to, Kaya wanted ordinary things. Panettiere recalled her daughter disliking an elaborate boat ride to school because classmates arrived by bus or were driven by parents or nannies.

“That made my heart sing,” Panettiere said, describing Kaya as “a humble, normal little girl.”

By May 2026, just three months before Panettiere’s death, she was still talking about the strength of their relationship.

She told Shetty that she traveled whenever she could to see Kaya and spent significant time with her on FaceTime. Their conversations, she said, weren’t limited to casual updates.

“We talk about really deep things,” Panettiere said.

Most of all, she wanted Kaya to understand the arrangement that had shaped much of her childhood. Whatever the miles between them, Panettiere said her daughter knew she had two parents who loved her and would do anything to keep her healthy and happy.

“She in no way feels abandoned,” Panettiere said, “and that’s something that I’ve made sure to stay on top of and be very aware of.”