Every August 7, Hillary Scarbath finds ways to make sure a little girl who lived for only a few hours is still part of the world.

She may pay for a stranger’s birthday cake. She may deliver a gift bag to a hospital for a baby girl born close to 5:48 p.m. She has handed out Starbucks gift cards, helped children in need at Christmas and donated breast milk for premature babies.

None of those gestures can bring back her daughter, Bodhi Magnolia.

But they give Hillary a way to keep mothering her.

Bodhi was born on Aug. 7, 2020, at just 22 weeks and one day of pregnancy. She weighed 1 pound, 3.2 ounces and measured 12 inches long. She was breathing when she arrived, but Hillary said the hospital would not provide life-saving intervention because Bodhi had been born before its gestational-age threshold.

Hillary and her husband, Derek, held their daughter as she lived for nearly four hours.

Then they had to begin a life without her.

Becoming Parents Had Already Been a Long Fight

Hillary and Derek married in November 2018 after five years together and soon began trying to start a family.

After roughly a year and a half without becoming pregnant, they sought help from a fertility clinic.

Hillary had been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome earlier in adulthood but said she had not fully understood how it could affect fertility.

The realization was painful.

She had imagined pregnancy happening naturally after marriage. Instead, motherhood became a cycle of medications, testing and disappointment.

The couple tried Clomid and Letrozole to encourage ovulation. Hillary experienced a chemical pregnancy, followed by months of negative tests.

Eventually, they turned to intrauterine insemination.

Their first IUI took place on March 17, 2020.

Eleven days later, Hillary took a digital pregnancy test before stepping into the shower.

It said one word she had desperately wanted to see:

Pregnant.

She dropped to her knees crying.

When Derek came home, Hillary ran to him. After so many failed attempts, they finally believed the chapter of uncertainty was ending.

They were going to become parents.

They Named Their Daughter Bodhi Magnolia

The pregnancy initially progressed without major problems apart from severe morning sickness.

Around 10 weeks, the couple learned through blood testing that they were having a girl.

Hillary had expected a boy and was initially stunned by the result. Soon, however, she was buying bows and tiny clothes and imagining life with a daughter.

They chose the name Bodhi Magnolia Scarbath.

Hillary felt as though the life she had dreamed about was finally taking shape.

Then, on Aug. 3, everything changed.

At approximately 21½ weeks pregnant, she woke with cramping.

Her doctor asked her to come in as a precaution. Before leaving, Hillary stopped at her parents’ home and noticed she was bleeding.

As her mother and Derek drove her toward medical care, the cramping returned.

Hillary realized they were contractions.

She was going into labor far too soon.

Four Hours Passed Before a Doctor Examined Her

Hillary and Derek reached labor and delivery triage.

Despite what she described as active labor, Hillary said she remained there for approximately four hours before a doctor examined her.

By then, she was 3 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced.

An emergency cerclage—a stitch used in some situations to help keep the cervix closed—was no longer an option.

Doctors managed to delay delivery temporarily, but Hillary said she and Derek were told that if Bodhi arrived before 23 weeks, the hospital would not attempt life-saving measures.

The couple asked about transferring to another hospital.

They were unable to arrange it.

Four days later, Bodhi was born.

They Met Their Daughter and Lost Her on the Same Day

Bodhi arrived at 5:48 p.m. on Aug. 7.

To Hillary, she was perfect.

She was tiny, alive and breathing.

Hillary and Derek begged for medical intervention, but Hillary said the hospital followed its policy based on Bodhi’s gestational age.

Their daughter lived for almost four hours.

Those hours became the entirety of Bodhi’s life outside the womb—and some of the most precious memories her parents would ever have.

Then Hillary had to leave the hospital as a mother whose baby was no longer coming home.

The physical aftermath added another layer of suffering. She required several surgeries because placenta remained after delivery.

Then other crises piled on.

Derek experienced a tonic-clonic seizure in his sleep despite having no previous history of one. Their car engine failed. They bought another vehicle, only for someone to pull in front of them and cause an accident that left them using a rental for 72 days.

Hillary also returned to work sooner than she had expected.

Because Bodhi had died, Hillary said she did not qualify for the additional maternity leave she would have received for bonding with a living baby. Instead, she received 10 days of bereavement leave.

She described the period simply: life felt like hell.

A Stranger in a Pet Store Offered Hope

In October 2020, Hillary stopped at a pet store to buy dog food.

An employee who knew her noticed she was no longer pregnant and asked about the baby.

Hillary had to explain that Bodhi had died.

Then a woman standing behind her approached.

The stranger understood in a way most people could not.

She had lost twin boys at 24 weeks.

The two women spoke, and before leaving, the stranger told Hillary she had a feeling she would become pregnant again before the year ended.

Hillary went outside, called Derek and then contacted their fertility clinic.

They decided to try again.

To their surprise, Hillary became pregnant on the first attempt.

The due date was Aug. 5, 2021—only two days before what would have been Bodhi’s first birthday.

Their Rainbow Baby Arrived Early Too

The second pregnancy brought its own fear.

Around the 20-week anatomy scan, doctors discovered Hillary was again beginning to experience premature labor.

This time, she was being treated by a different medical team at another hospital.

She underwent an emergency cerclage, was placed on bed rest and received close monitoring every other week.

Later, preeclampsia required an early delivery.

On June 23, 2021, Hillary and Derek welcomed another daughter, Lenni, at 34 weeks.

Lenni brought enormous happiness into their home.

But Hillary never viewed her younger daughter as replacing Bodhi.

She tells Lenni about her older sister regularly, plays recordings of Bodhi’s heartbeat and shows her photographs.

In Hillary’s family, there are two daughters.

One is growing up at home.

One is remembered every day.

Kindness Became a Way to Keep Parenting Bodhi

Hillary eventually began asking herself what she could do with the love that no longer had a living child to receive it.

Her answer was action.

She donated breast milk to a milk bank so it could help NICU babies.

She became involved with Weighted Angels, a nonprofit that provides grieving families with weighted stuffed animals approximating the birth weight of the babies they lost.

At Christmas, she created a fundraiser to support two children in need.

On Bodhi’s birthday, she sends a gift bag to a hospital for the baby girl born on Aug. 7 closest to 5:48 p.m.

She pays for a stranger’s birthday cake.

She distributes gift cards.

Each gesture carries Bodhi’s name into another person’s life.

Hillary does not describe that work as a cure for grief.

She does not believe parents simply “move on” after losing a child.

The absence remains.

Bodhi would continue aging in Hillary’s imagination even though she never had the chance to grow beyond those first four hours.

What has changed is what Hillary does with the pain.

Her daughter’s death gave her a determination to speak openly about infant loss, support other grieving parents and remind people that babies who lived briefly still mattered.

Hope, she believes, is one thing bereaved parents should protect even when grief changes them permanently.

Hillary never got the motherhood journey she imagined when she and Derek first began trying to conceive.

She became a mother through fertility treatment, held her first daughter as she died, endured another terrifying pregnancy and eventually brought Lenni home.

But Bodhi’s story did not end in that hospital room.

Every donated ounce of milk, every weighted animal, every birthday cake and every unexpected act of kindness allows her name to travel a little farther.

Hillary cannot give her daughter more birthdays.

So each year, she gives pieces of Bodhi’s birthday to other people.